The Random Panel Project Wk13

Here we are at a new month, and some new problems. Who shows up this month, who knows.

So ask who, because I don't know.


Wk13 by ~paperlab on deviantART

Love be as Love Do

You know you want to listen to this.

The Extraordinary Adventures Of Adèle Blanc-Sec

It’s a comic book movie that you’ve never heard of, but actually did pretty well at the box office last weekend. In France.



Here, have a look.

Hottest Asian in Hollywood Part2

Okay people this is it. The definitive list of the hottest Asian actresses in entertainment. We dare you to dispute us. (or give us some better suggestions, because we really failed at this list)

DAMN!

Deadgirl

In the mood for something different? Think the zombie genre is all played out? Feel like watching something disturbing, controversial, and absolutely not for conservatives?

Then man, I’ve got a movie for you. The title is “Deadgirl,” and the subject matter is not for the squeamish.

Rickie and J.T. are both high school burnouts, just trying to kill time until they graduate. One day they decide to ditch class and head to an abandoned sanitarium for an afternoon of hanging out and vandalism. What they wind up getting is chased through the hallways by a stray dog.



The two of them find safety in the basement, as well as a metal door that’s been rusted shut for decades. Behind that door they discover something that couldn’t possibly be there; a naked woman who’s chained to a table, covered in plastic, perfectly preserved, and not much older than they are. At first the two guys rightfully assume that she’s dead. And then she starts to move.

Rickie’s first thought is to go to the police. J.T. on the other hand wants to keep her, and use her as his own personal sex toy.

Yes, you read that last part right. And no, this is definitely not family entertainment.

Anyway, it’s soon revealed that their first impression was correct, and the woman is in fact dead. Yet she still moves, hears sound, and is responsive in . . . other ways as well.



But Rickie still tries repeatedly to free her, despite being torn by his loyalty to his friend J.T. And in the process, he discovers that the Dead Girl is aggressive in more ways than one. Those chains around her aren’t just keeping her bound, they’re stopping her from attacking anything that gets too close to her teeth. And to Rickie’s horror, more high school guys find out about the Dead Girl, which in turn leads to an even more horrible discovery; her bite can create more dead people like her.



Now, while this movie did make the rounds in many film festivals and gained a lot of recognition, it also qualifies as low-budget, straight to DVD fare (which I tend to be a fan of). But to give credit where it’s due, the filmmakers do bring a lot of technical skill to the story. Still, the subject matter is likely going to turn off the majority of viewers. Which, honestly, may be for the best. I don’t think anyone wants to live in a world where Deadgirl appeals to the mainstream.

Of course, if you’re a horror fan, then what the hell. Give Deadgirl a shot, and see what you think. Just don’t ever try watching it on a date.



- Nate

The Random Panel Project Wk12

Watch as this month eases to a close, and we wonder once more WTF.

Wk12 by =paperlab on deviantART

Hottest Asian in Hollywood Part1

Okay people this is it. The definitive list of the hottest Asian actresses in entertainment. We dare you to dispute us. (or give us some better suggestions, because we really failed at this list)

Here goes Nate and his TV stuff

Paladin: Trailer (Directors cut) from John Allardice on Vimeo.

TEDDY BABES

We take another tour into the online sex toy universe with the beautiful and plush Teddy Babes. We try to figure out just how someone can justify these things in a meaningful relationship and just what kind of man would enjoy such a product.

Kick Ass The Movie versus Kick Ass The Comic

I believe that most fan-geeks will agree when I say that Kick Ass the movie is honestly more enjoyable than Kick Ass the comic. The characters were more interesting, the plot was tighter, and it didn’t have so much blatant disdain for comic book fans. Hell, it was just more fun.

Which is interesting, considering that the movie was developed almost alongside the comic itself. And while there are many differences between the two versions of the story, there are a couple of changes I think are worth pointing out.


More Metal Bones, Less Pain

In the comic, the character of Kick Ass is only given a single metal plate in his head, after being hit by a car. In the movie, Kick Ass has the metal plate, several metal bones throughout his body, and damaged nerve endings so he can’t feel as much pain. Which makes it much more believable when he has to withstand multiple beatings.


No Flame-throwers

While Hit-Girl still gets to slaughter a small army of mobsters in the movie, she does it without the flame-thrower she had in the comic. So I guess its okay for a little girl to kick, shoot, stab, and mutilate her way through violent criminals on film. But burning them is just a bit too much.



Half The Drug Abuse

In the movie, Red Mist still gets to light up a joint while driving around with Kick Ass. But Hit-Girl doesn’t get to snort up cocaine before getting into her fight scene at the end. Which, admittedly, does show some responsibility on the part of the filmmakers. And heck, maybe Red Mist’s joint was medicinal. Who knows?




No Electrocution Of The Testicles

Nope. Just doesn’t happen. Kick Ass manages to avoid having a car battery hooked up to his beans and franks while on film. Instead, he gets tied to a chair and hammered in the nuts with a baseball bat. Which, let’s face it, is for the best. No one wants to see a fried ball-sack up on a movie theater screen.


Kick Ass Gets To Fly

Yes, in the movie, Kick Ass does get to fly. I won’t spoil how it happens here, but it does work well. And at one point, it even brings to mind The Matrix.




100% More Nicholas Cage as Batman

I know, technically, his superhero name is Big Daddy. But come on, we’re pretty much seeing what it’d look like if Nicholas Cage ever played Batman. Not to mention the image of a mustached-Batman executing a criminal with a shotgun.

So that was the Kick Ass experience. I liked watching the movie, but I’m also glad it’s over and done with. Seeing the advertisements all over the place was getting old. And next time, I say just make it a movie about Hit-Girl.





- Nate

CUBA GOODING JR APOLOGY

Well, in the epic episode 25 we give Cuba Gooding Jr a pretty good thrashing for his disgraceful movie rolls. Afterwards someone got the bright idea that we should issue a disclaimer and a public apology to Mr. Gooding. We let Steve do the dirty deed, but I think Cuba Gooding should apologize to us for being involved in a movie called Snow Dogs.

The Random Panel Project Wk11

As the Month Winds down we meet new players as the plot (what plot) thickens as.

Wk11 by =paperlab on deviantART

Dragon's need love too

Join us as we explore the delightful world of dragon lovin' and sex toys. First we are introduced to Bad Dragon Toy's lovable Dragon vagina or as Deleon calls it, the DRAGINA. Then the crew goes to the Bad Dragon website and enjoy some full frontal anthropomorphic art.

Hitchcockian, I think not.

Birdemic will have a sequel, or at least that's what the director said.

Samurai Wars

It’s an accepted fact that George Lucas was influenced by an old samurai movie called “The Fortress” when he created Star Wars. Well, a sculptor took that notion one step further, and created a line of action figures called Samurai Wars. It re-imagines Star Wars characters as if they actually were in a samurai movie.

Samurai stuff.

Nate

Flash Divas

Here are some of the latest pin ups from Flash Divas. Feel free to go to the blog to read all about the art and how to contact us.

Flashdivas.chriscrazyhouse.com


BLACK CAT AND SPIDER WOMAN by *chriscrazyhouse on deviantART


BATTLE NUN by *chriscrazyhouse on deviantART


COUNTESS SKANKULA by *chriscrazyhouse on deviantART

Don't act like you didn't see this coming

Dingo

Dingo is a four-issue comic book mini-series from Boom Studios, written by Michael Alan Nelson, and based on Nelson’s online novel of the same name. And I was lucky enough to finish reading Dingo-the-novel about a month before Dingo-the-comic came out. Between the two, I’d have to say that I enjoyed the novel version more. Though that’s probably due to more depth naturally being found in a novel-format than a four-issue comic. But the comic is still worth picking up.

The story begins with Dingo himself being chained to a wall and about to have a lurid session with a dominatrix. Before it can begin, Dingo gets a phone call from his rock star brother. Turns out, Dingo’s brother misplaced a certain enchanted wooden box, the contents of which are family heirlooms and incredibly dangerous. At that, Dingo drops what he’s doing and rushes off to LasVegas to retrieve the box before it’s opened.

Along the way, Dingo comes across an unnaturally large dog, and adopts him on a whim. The name on the dog’s collar reads “Cerberus,” and as the story continues, it’s revealed that there’s much more to the dog than Dingo realizes. I won’t spoil it here, but Cerberus does have a connection to the contents of the box.

But anyway, when Dingo arrives in Vegas, he learns that the box has in been opened, and thus attracts the attention of several dangerous individuals. Including his ex-wife, who reveals herself as a twisted, deadly woman (though some might say that describes all ex-wives). And as the bullets and the body-count piles up, Cerberus proves just how good in a fight he can really be.

Now while I did enjoy this story in both formats, I would’ve liked to see a little more background on Dingo and his history with the contents of the box. Normally I appreciate it when the writer doesn’t spell everything out, but in this case more information would’ve helped.

Still, there’s no arguing that the story works. Take a look if you’re ever in a mood for something different from Marvel and DC.

Also, Dingo-The-Novel can be found here:



- Nate

Why have I not seen this until now?

The Collector

All right, it’s a given that everyone’s long since given up on the whole torture-porn sub-genre of horror movies, that was so quickly kick-started by Saw. Nothing knew there. But while The Collector definitely falls into that category, it still manages to stand on it’s own as a good horror story. A flawed one, sure, but still a good one.

The Collector starts off with a down-on-his-luck handyman named Arkin (Josh Stewart), who’s doing construction work on the home of a jewel broker named Michael. While Arkin’s there he bonds with Michael’s youngest daughter, and the audience is also given scenes that establish the characters of Michael’s wife and older daughter. There maybe isn’t a huge amount of characterization taking place, but it’s just about right for the audience to gain sympathy for everyone involved.

After Arkin leaves the house, he goes to meet with his own wife who, as it turns out, owes money to a loan shark. And she needs more cash to get out of town with her and Arkin’s own daughter. With the stakes thus raised, Arkin first meets with a dealer in stolen goods, and then gets back to Michael’s house. There’s a jewel in Michael’s locked safe that’s valuable enough to solve all of Arkin’s problems.

But the thing is, while Arkin was away from the house, a maniac called The Collector showed up. And he spent the last couple of hours capturing Michael’s family and setting up a series of deadly traps. After Arkin discovers what’s going on, he plays a twisted game of hide-and-seek with the Collector, all the while avoiding the traps and trying to save the family.



So yes, it’s a story that lends itself to some genuinely tense scenes, and has enough blood-and-guts for the gore fans. But before the audience can buy any of this, first they have to accept the idea that The Collector had enough time to torture Michael and his wife, AND set up lethal traps while Arkin was gone. And there’s also the question of why the Collector set up the traps to begin with. It’s probably so that he’d have the pleasure of watching his victims try to run, and then get injured or killed . . . though we never know for sure.

But maybe it’s asking for too much to expect a movie like The Collector to be flawless. It’s honestly a more-tense and involving fright flick than many films that get released. And it’s one more welcome alternative to watered-down, PG-13 horror.


- Nate

The Random Panel Project Wk10

Here we are at week ten, and it seems the unauthorized cameos just won't stop. Is this a good or a bad thing? Who knows, ask me again in a year's time.

Wk10 by =paperlab on deviantART

Nate suggested that this is a must post

Enjoy

Damn Germans

Episode 51

Much thanks the Marc the maestro of many an episode.

Ghetto.

Muscle Thug Love.


And now the show:

There aren’t really any shownotes this week, just pure unrefined awesomeness as the show goes from team book to solo book. Actually maybe I should be playing the lowered expectations game and not royally screw myself by having anyone expect anything short of crap.

Comics are fun
Episode 51 part 1.

Hispanic and proud
Episode 51 part 2.

The Random Panel Project Month 3

This is Month 3 of Randomness, and refer to Month 1 to refresh your memory, or just start there if you're new. It probably won't clarify anything, but hey it would be pretty cool to read it all chronologically.

On the heels of last month's disastrous turn, we see Babu now embarking on the third leg of his epic adventure. Let's see where a life of uncertainty involving crazy girlfriends, and absurd guest stars gets this guy in the coming weeks.


The Random Panel Project 3 by =paperlab on deviantART

Every thing has come full Triangle

Ok yes that's a square...

Triangle is an awesome hidden gem that ran about $12 million, but delivered much more than the typical low budget slasher fare. With that said, the movie has a horrible cg ship is prominent, but is only seen few times. Fortunately by the end of the movie there is a sequence that makes up for the hideous ship, plus the movie itself washes the pain away.

Mellissa George stars, and her awesome legs are visible for 90% of this crazed adventure. The leg statement is essential because they acted as a good tension reliever during the journey of murder and mistrust. I just wonder who they’ll get to play her part in the remake which is guaranteed to happen since nobody watched this movie. Mz George did a great job and honestly, when the other shoe drops and another British property is converted to American I wouldn’t mind seeing her again.

In a nutshell, Triangle is a reverse ‘Groundhog’s day’ due to its similar core concept that never felt gimmicky, and worked well with its basic ‘slasher’ themes. The strength of Triangle rested mainly on the shoulders of its intelligence, and its ability to tell the audience what’s happening without clunky exposition. Rarely have I watched a movie of this sort that made me think (even if for 2 seconds), and even though I did predict where things were going from the first bit of foreshadowing, surprises were still abound.

Director Christopher Smith has directed two prior movies called ‘Severance’ and Creep’, so now I’m going to catch up while anticipating his next project. Talent aside, a large part of this movie’s quality also emerges from the fact that it came from those Kooky former colonial master across the pond. With no involvement from Hollywood, it’s no wonder this came together without much cheese other than the cheesecake.

This movie isn’t perfect by any means, and it does take ideas and cues from past greats, but who cares if it works well. Its kinda like the videogame ‘Darksiders’, it may be every game ever made combined, but what does it matter if it’s done masterfully. I would say see it for yourself and whether you love it or hate it, in the end it can’t be as bad as watching ‘Blindness’.


Hyakkimaru