Product Placements in the Book of Eli

Washington’s gotta eat.


By now, most people have either seen the Denzel Washington movie “The Book of Eli,” or they’ve read the online reviews. So instead of debating the pros and cons of the wandering-swordsman, post-apocalyptic-future, protect-the-bible story, lets take a look at the product placements that show up through out the film.



Ipod


Early in the movie, it’s established that Eli carries with him an old, beat-up Ipod that he keeps running with a rechargeable battery. But when Eli stops to get his rechargeable battery recharged, it leads him into conflict with a local warlord (played by Gary Oldman). So remember folks, Ipods are evil. Keep carrying them around, and they’ll result in violence.



Busch Beer


At one point in Eli’s travels, he stops at the edge of an elevated highway. From this angle the audience clearly sees the destroyed landscape, stretching out into the distance. But untouched in all that devastation is the side of a Busch truck. Never mind that everything else is a mess, the Busch name is unmarked and clearly seen. Clearly, this means that we should start buying stocks in that company right now. This is a brand that will survive the coming war.



Kentucky Fried Chicken


Among the many items in Eli’s backpack are several packets of hand-wipes from KFC. They’re considered pretty valuable in this future, and they are important bartering items. Next time you get a hankering for Kentucky Fried Chicken, stow a couple of those packets away. Even after the apocalypse, people still need to clean up chicken grease.



The Da Vinci Code


One of the plot points in The Book of Eli is that Gary Oldman’s character sends out teams of hunters to search for books, in the hope of finding a copy of the Bible. When they bring back Oldman a fresh pile of literature and dump it onto his desk, one of the books is a fresh copy of The Da Vinci Code. Apparently it’s not enough that the novel is already an international bestseller, or that it was made into a movie starring Tom Hanks. The publishers still paid a bundle to get that crappy book plugged in a major theatrical release. At least it didn’t have Tom Hanks on the cover.



Oprah


In that same pile of books is an issue of the Oprah magazine. Which of course proves that Oprah is immortal, she will outlive the rest of humanity, and she’s also responsible for the end of civilization. Don’t try to argue with me, the evidence is right there.





Kmart



When Mila Kunis’s character goes through Eli’s belongings, she reveals a Kmart nametag with Eli’s name on it. That’s right, folks. Eli doesn’t have a background in the military or as a kendo instructor or anything like that. 30 years ago when the bombs dropped, Eli was working at a Kmart. And while he was there, he was apparently trained to use a sword, fire a gun, shoot arrows, and hunt stray cats. Think about that the next time you need to ask a retail associate for help.




Bad Ass Swords


Eli’s sword is bad ass. It was designed to be bad ass. The way he uses it is bad ass. There should be an inscription on the side that reads, “Bad ass motherf*****.” Because if you own a sword like this and you know how to use it, that automatically makes you a bad ass motherf*****. If that doesn’t sell some blades, nothing will.



The Bible



I’m not religious, but I have to admit, this movie makes a good case for reading the Bible. Even if you don’t believe in God, it’ll still give you some cool lines to rattle off before using your bad ass sword to slice through a crowd of people.




The Punisher



The actor Ray Stevenson plays a significant part in The Book of Eli. And as shown in the comic book movie Punisher War Zone, Ray Stevenson portrays a pretty intimidating version of the Punisher. After that, it’s hard not to see his character machine-gunning down criminals whenever he’s on camera. Really, the only thing missing here was a skull on Stevenson’s chest. Marvel Comics should expect to sell a few more issues thanks to this movie.


So that was The Book of Eli. Not only did it feature a pretty solid story and great cinematography, it also carries with it a blatant display of commercialism. Which was likely needed to pay Denzel Washington’s salary.

- Nate