For all who are baffled by our discussions concerning the Morrison organism, this is a must watch.
We personally feel he should open up a Franchise of Churches.
Hyakkimaru
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Was it worth it
The Boondock Saints 2
For those who don’t know, the first Boondock Saints was released on video and DVD during the mid-nineties. And like many of the movie’s fans, I first stumbled upon it in Blockbuster and picked it up on a whim. I wasn’t expecting much, and only knew that William Defoe was in the movie, the cover featured two guys with guns, and the plot involved vigilantes taking on the mob. So why not, right?
Within a week I’d purchased my own copy of the Boondock Saints, half the people I knew were quoting lines from the film, and I was describing scenes in the movie to random strangers (especially the death-by-toilet-bowl scene. Man, I loved that one).
So as you might imagine, I was excited to hear about Boondock Saints 2 finally getting made and being released in theaters. And this time around, writer/director Troy Duffy had a larger budget, plus more technical know-how and experience to draw from.
But somehow . . . I just couldn’t bring myself to enjoy Boondock Saints 2 as much as Boondock Saints 1. And damn it, I’m not entirely sure why.
The story starts out strong enough. After massacring the Boston mafia 10 years ago, the brothers Connor (Sean Patrick Flannery) and Murphy McManus (Norman Reedus) have been living on a sheep farm in Ireland with their father, Il Duce (Billy Connoly). But after a hit-man kills a priest and frames the Saints for the murder, the two brothers come storming back to Boston for some serious payback. And along the way, a Hispanic dock-worker named Romeo (Clifton Collins Jr.) winds up tagging along. Romeo’s a huge fan of the Saint’s previous work, and he occupies the role formerly filled by the character of Rocco in the first movie.
From there, this film follows many of the story beats from the original as the Saints tear through the Boston underworld. It even involves an FBI agent (played by Julie Benz) who recounts the over-the-top shoot out scenes, mirroring the part first played by William Defoe. And she’s aided in her tasks by, again, the same three cops who tried to track down the Saints in the first movie.
But along the way, a more complex plot unfolds that involves the background of the Saints’s father Il Duce, and draws him back to Boston as well.
So the sequel here has most of the same ideas that made the first Boondocks Saints such a cool film, while expanding on the core elements. Plus, it’s a better made and more polished-looking film. And yet, it just didn’t manage to reach the greatness of the original. I don’t know, maybe it was the mostly-absent William Defoe and David Della Rocco. Both made short cameo appearances that stood out, but just weren’t enough to help pull things together.
But I do have to get credit to Troy Duffy for managing to get this movie made, and perhaps my expectations were just too high to begin with. In any case, I’m sure fans of the original will come out in droves to watch the brothers McManus do what they do best; shoot the bad guys and look cool while doing it.
- Nate
For those who don’t know, the first Boondock Saints was released on video and DVD during the mid-nineties. And like many of the movie’s fans, I first stumbled upon it in Blockbuster and picked it up on a whim. I wasn’t expecting much, and only knew that William Defoe was in the movie, the cover featured two guys with guns, and the plot involved vigilantes taking on the mob. So why not, right?
Within a week I’d purchased my own copy of the Boondock Saints, half the people I knew were quoting lines from the film, and I was describing scenes in the movie to random strangers (especially the death-by-toilet-bowl scene. Man, I loved that one).
So as you might imagine, I was excited to hear about Boondock Saints 2 finally getting made and being released in theaters. And this time around, writer/director Troy Duffy had a larger budget, plus more technical know-how and experience to draw from.
But somehow . . . I just couldn’t bring myself to enjoy Boondock Saints 2 as much as Boondock Saints 1. And damn it, I’m not entirely sure why.
The story starts out strong enough. After massacring the Boston mafia 10 years ago, the brothers Connor (Sean Patrick Flannery) and Murphy McManus (Norman Reedus) have been living on a sheep farm in Ireland with their father, Il Duce (Billy Connoly). But after a hit-man kills a priest and frames the Saints for the murder, the two brothers come storming back to Boston for some serious payback. And along the way, a Hispanic dock-worker named Romeo (Clifton Collins Jr.) winds up tagging along. Romeo’s a huge fan of the Saint’s previous work, and he occupies the role formerly filled by the character of Rocco in the first movie.
From there, this film follows many of the story beats from the original as the Saints tear through the Boston underworld. It even involves an FBI agent (played by Julie Benz) who recounts the over-the-top shoot out scenes, mirroring the part first played by William Defoe. And she’s aided in her tasks by, again, the same three cops who tried to track down the Saints in the first movie.
But along the way, a more complex plot unfolds that involves the background of the Saints’s father Il Duce, and draws him back to Boston as well.
So the sequel here has most of the same ideas that made the first Boondocks Saints such a cool film, while expanding on the core elements. Plus, it’s a better made and more polished-looking film. And yet, it just didn’t manage to reach the greatness of the original. I don’t know, maybe it was the mostly-absent William Defoe and David Della Rocco. Both made short cameo appearances that stood out, but just weren’t enough to help pull things together.
But I do have to get credit to Troy Duffy for managing to get this movie made, and perhaps my expectations were just too high to begin with. In any case, I’m sure fans of the original will come out in droves to watch the brothers McManus do what they do best; shoot the bad guys and look cool while doing it.
- Nate
Thursday, January 28, 2010
2012(a visual disection)
I started thinking about my 2012 viewing recently, and something occurred to me... and then I immediately forgot it.
So on that note here are some visual associations I took away from that Magnum Opus.
The President__Big Boss (at the end of MGS4)
The Supporting Cast__Wylie Coyote
John Cusack (at the end of the movie)__Aquaman
The Planet__The Final Destination Cast
How long it took to watch the movie__How long it takes for me to do something more constructive
By now you'll realize that if you haven't seen this movie, this is all Gobbledygook. On the other hand, if you have seen it and gone the extra mile by playing Metal Gear Solid 4 you're likely still confused.
Welcome to the world of 2012.
Hyakkimaru
So on that note here are some visual associations I took away from that Magnum Opus.
The President__Big Boss (at the end of MGS4)
The Supporting Cast__Wylie Coyote
John Cusack (at the end of the movie)__Aquaman
The Planet__The Final Destination Cast
How long it took to watch the movie__How long it takes for me to do something more constructive
By now you'll realize that if you haven't seen this movie, this is all Gobbledygook. On the other hand, if you have seen it and gone the extra mile by playing Metal Gear Solid 4 you're likely still confused.
Welcome to the world of 2012.
Hyakkimaru
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Samurai Cowboys
Sukiyaki Western Django
I know, I know, Takahashi Miike is a talented, well-respected genre filmmaker with a large following, and he directs a ridiculous number of movies every year. But I have to confess, most of the films I’ve seen from him just haven’t clicked with me. And yes, that does include Audition.
However, Sukiyaki Western Django I enjoyed, and it’s obvious from the start that Mr. Miike had a good time with the kitschy, oddball weirdness of it. Hell, what else would you expect from a movie called Sukiyaki Western Django?
The story begins when a mysterious gunfighter with-no-name shows up in a town ruled by two different gangs, the Reds and the Whites, both of whom are competing for the riches of a nearby gold mine. And the gangs are so evenly matched, the power balance tips in favor of whoever can bring the gunfighter into their group. But rather than choose option A or B, the gunfighter becomes involved with the Romeo and Juliet subplot, and defends a young boy whose parents belonged to rival sides. While the plot is typical for a Western, Takahashi Miike uses it to create a series of over-the-top scenes of action-violence that would never have occurred to Sergio Leone.
Ultimately though, the appeal of the film lies in the mash-up of Western and Eastern movie elements, plus Miike’s own filmmaking style. And there’s something great about a director having an almost all-Japanese cast speak their lines in English, just because he can. Though I would recommend keeping the subtitles on while you watch. There are several moments when it’s clear that English is not the native language of the actors.
One last thing, you can’t talk about Sukiyaki Western Django without talking about Quentin Tarantino’s role as a veteran gunfighter. He’s the only Caucasian member of the cast, he plays up his part for all it’s worth, and delivers most of his lines in a strange, asian-esque accent that is at times impenetrable. Again, this is a movie where subtitles are your friend.
But if you’re ever in the mood for something different and you don’t mind the dialogue issues, then give Sukiyaki Western Django a shot. It’s worth your time.
- Nate
I know, I know, Takahashi Miike is a talented, well-respected genre filmmaker with a large following, and he directs a ridiculous number of movies every year. But I have to confess, most of the films I’ve seen from him just haven’t clicked with me. And yes, that does include Audition.
However, Sukiyaki Western Django I enjoyed, and it’s obvious from the start that Mr. Miike had a good time with the kitschy, oddball weirdness of it. Hell, what else would you expect from a movie called Sukiyaki Western Django?
The story begins when a mysterious gunfighter with-no-name shows up in a town ruled by two different gangs, the Reds and the Whites, both of whom are competing for the riches of a nearby gold mine. And the gangs are so evenly matched, the power balance tips in favor of whoever can bring the gunfighter into their group. But rather than choose option A or B, the gunfighter becomes involved with the Romeo and Juliet subplot, and defends a young boy whose parents belonged to rival sides. While the plot is typical for a Western, Takahashi Miike uses it to create a series of over-the-top scenes of action-violence that would never have occurred to Sergio Leone.
Ultimately though, the appeal of the film lies in the mash-up of Western and Eastern movie elements, plus Miike’s own filmmaking style. And there’s something great about a director having an almost all-Japanese cast speak their lines in English, just because he can. Though I would recommend keeping the subtitles on while you watch. There are several moments when it’s clear that English is not the native language of the actors.
One last thing, you can’t talk about Sukiyaki Western Django without talking about Quentin Tarantino’s role as a veteran gunfighter. He’s the only Caucasian member of the cast, he plays up his part for all it’s worth, and delivers most of his lines in a strange, asian-esque accent that is at times impenetrable. Again, this is a movie where subtitles are your friend.
But if you’re ever in the mood for something different and you don’t mind the dialogue issues, then give Sukiyaki Western Django a shot. It’s worth your time.
- Nate
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
STARBATTLES
One colossal conundrum has plagued fanboys since the beginning of time. Who is better? Star Wars or Star Trek. Lucky for us there is a cartoon out there that finally answers this question. I give you STARBATTLES. A titanic contest that pits the crew of the Enterprise against the members of the Darkside Crew in a form we can all appreciate. A freestyle rap battle. Enjoy.
Wow 40 episodes...... and we still suck.
Sorry we're a bit short on the show notes this week, its been quite strange over on the 'IsThisThingOn' side of things.
We actually have guests, who help fill in for our regular cast. So put on your Sunday best and break out the earphones because Deleon's magic audio wand is broke as all hell.
Seriously though, thanks to terminus media for making the appearance despite what I said about tony and his love of marvel...among other things.
Enter Terminus
Episode 40 part 1.
The first part is continued in part 5 of the podcast, but in the meantime we have interesting interludes with Michael (part 2), Nick (part 3)and Steve (part 4).
Wet wipes and bullet wounds
Episode 40 part 2.
Movies for potheads who like movies
Episode 40 part 3.
We can use this
Episode 40 part 4.
Terminus is Sorry
Episode 40 part 5.
Hyakkimaru
Sorry we're a bit short on the show notes this week, its been quite strange over on the 'IsThisThingOn' side of things.
We actually have guests, who help fill in for our regular cast. So put on your Sunday best and break out the earphones because Deleon's magic audio wand is broke as all hell.
Seriously though, thanks to terminus media for making the appearance despite what I said about tony and his love of marvel...among other things.
Enter Terminus
Episode 40 part 1.
The first part is continued in part 5 of the podcast, but in the meantime we have interesting interludes with Michael (part 2), Nick (part 3)and Steve (part 4).
Wet wipes and bullet wounds
Episode 40 part 2.
Movies for potheads who like movies
Episode 40 part 3.
We can use this
Episode 40 part 4.
Terminus is Sorry
Episode 40 part 5.
Hyakkimaru
Monday, January 25, 2010
They're baaaaack.
If you have any affection or trepidation toward 90's Image comics click this link.
Keep in mind that this comic has already been released, so short of a Time
Machine you can't stop it.
Hyakkimaru
Keep in mind that this comic has already been released, so short of a Time
Machine you can't stop it.
Hyakkimaru
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Worst dorm ever
Ok so I’m reading the latest issue of Weapon X Wolverine by writer Jason
Aaron, and I come across this.
Apparently Wolverine’s enemies have decided that shooting stabbing and blowing
him up is a waste of time.
So how about he NOCTURNALLY EMIT himself to death.
Hyakkimaru.
Aaron, and I come across this.
Apparently Wolverine’s enemies have decided that shooting stabbing and blowing
him up is a waste of time.
So how about he NOCTURNALLY EMIT himself to death.
Hyakkimaru.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
No! This is not Porn
Midnight Meat Train
You gotta feel for the creators of Midnight Meat Train. While the movie was made for a theatrical release, it wound up being one more horror flick that got dumped straight to DVD-land. And while the circumstances surrounding that studio decision are a story in and of itself, what it comes down to is Hollywood politics rather than lack of a quality product. It’s a shame, really. While this movie isn’t going to be for everyone, it does hold up well.
The plot deals with a photographer named Leon who explores the city by night, trying to find material edgy enough to make it in the art photography world. The search brings him into contact with a killer named Mahogany (played by Vinnie Jones) who hunts the subway for victims, and makes his kills with a massive metal hammer. After Mahogany bashes his victim’s heads in, he prepares the bodies and hangs the dead meat by metal hooks in the train. Hence the title, which works great in an over-the-top, Grindhouse kind of way.
Leon becomes obsessed with Mahogany, and at first he’s determined to track him down and bring photographic proof to the police. But the hunt becomes much more than that, taking Leon to places both mental and physical that he could never see coming.
So what we have here is a solid movie that’s based on the work of Clive Barker, a well-known horror writer, and directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, a Japanese filmmaker best known for the zombie splatterfest “Versus.” Both of these guys have a devoted fan base, and either one of them could get a significant number of people into a theater. And yet, the movie was still dropped from mainstream release like a bastard son, and left to fend for itself in the wilds of DVD land. Oh, Hollywood. Why do you do these things?
In any case, it’s a good horror story, well-acted, and shot with a great eye for composition. Honestly, if the movie was more widely seen, it would have been good for the careers of both the director and the cinematographer.
Though to be fair, Midnight Meat Train isn’t perfect. There are decisions made by some characters that are a little too much in service of the plot, and are of questionable intelligence. Plus, too much time is spent on Leon’s girlfriend Maya as she figures out things that the audience already knows.
Then there’s the gore. There is plenty of it, right along with the inventive kills that this type of movie calls for. But the filmmakers chose to use an odd combination of CG and practical effects, and when the CG gore is onscreen, it’s a little too slick and polished to be convincing. Of course, these are not make-or-break problems, and by the end of the movie you’ll be having a good enough time that you can forgive these things.
And in case you haven’t noticed, Vinnie Jones is a scary, scary looking man. The guy looks right at home while skulking around a subway and knocking people around with a metal hammer. Who knows? If things had gone differently with the movie release, maybe he would’ve achieved horror-icon status. As it is, he’ll have to be satisfied with being the most intimidating guy in the room at any given time.
- Nate
You gotta feel for the creators of Midnight Meat Train. While the movie was made for a theatrical release, it wound up being one more horror flick that got dumped straight to DVD-land. And while the circumstances surrounding that studio decision are a story in and of itself, what it comes down to is Hollywood politics rather than lack of a quality product. It’s a shame, really. While this movie isn’t going to be for everyone, it does hold up well.
The plot deals with a photographer named Leon who explores the city by night, trying to find material edgy enough to make it in the art photography world. The search brings him into contact with a killer named Mahogany (played by Vinnie Jones) who hunts the subway for victims, and makes his kills with a massive metal hammer. After Mahogany bashes his victim’s heads in, he prepares the bodies and hangs the dead meat by metal hooks in the train. Hence the title, which works great in an over-the-top, Grindhouse kind of way.
Leon becomes obsessed with Mahogany, and at first he’s determined to track him down and bring photographic proof to the police. But the hunt becomes much more than that, taking Leon to places both mental and physical that he could never see coming.
So what we have here is a solid movie that’s based on the work of Clive Barker, a well-known horror writer, and directed by Ryuhei Kitamura, a Japanese filmmaker best known for the zombie splatterfest “Versus.” Both of these guys have a devoted fan base, and either one of them could get a significant number of people into a theater. And yet, the movie was still dropped from mainstream release like a bastard son, and left to fend for itself in the wilds of DVD land. Oh, Hollywood. Why do you do these things?
In any case, it’s a good horror story, well-acted, and shot with a great eye for composition. Honestly, if the movie was more widely seen, it would have been good for the careers of both the director and the cinematographer.
Though to be fair, Midnight Meat Train isn’t perfect. There are decisions made by some characters that are a little too much in service of the plot, and are of questionable intelligence. Plus, too much time is spent on Leon’s girlfriend Maya as she figures out things that the audience already knows.
Then there’s the gore. There is plenty of it, right along with the inventive kills that this type of movie calls for. But the filmmakers chose to use an odd combination of CG and practical effects, and when the CG gore is onscreen, it’s a little too slick and polished to be convincing. Of course, these are not make-or-break problems, and by the end of the movie you’ll be having a good enough time that you can forgive these things.
And in case you haven’t noticed, Vinnie Jones is a scary, scary looking man. The guy looks right at home while skulking around a subway and knocking people around with a metal hammer. Who knows? If things had gone differently with the movie release, maybe he would’ve achieved horror-icon status. As it is, he’ll have to be satisfied with being the most intimidating guy in the room at any given time.
- Nate
Friday, January 22, 2010
Nate on Grant Morrison
Recently, the guys on the IsThisThingOn podcast had a discussion about a comic book writer named Grant Morrison. You may have heard of him, he’s the creative madman behind Vertigo Comics like The Invisibles, Doom Patrol, Animal Man, The Filth, and We3. Overall, these are some of the most trippy, wild, high-concept, blow-your-mind stories that you’ll ever come across, in any story-telling medium. Seriously, read enough of Grant’s work and you might find your brain behaving in ways it was never meant to.
But during our conversation, we tossed around some ideas about what it must be like to actually be Grant Morrison, and how the world must look from his point of view. The following are just a few of the points that came up (written with all apologies to chucknorrisfacts.com).
Life As Grant Morrison
Grant Morrison regularly travels back through time, and has become his own ancestor on more than one occasion.
In Grant Morrison’s world, Jack Kirby is an ancient God, and he whispers to Grant while he sleeps.
Whenever Grant Morrison needs some quiet time to write, he teleports into the Marvel Comics Universe and the Blue Area of the moon.
When Grant Morrison is agitated, he can lactate super-intelligent sperm from his nipples. And they only speak in binary code.
Grant Morrison has sampled every mind-altering drug known to mind, and many that aren’t.
Grant Morrison exists in at least three more dimensions than anyone else.
Grant Morrison regularly eats breakfast with Cthulhu, Tiamat, Dagon, and the rest of the Elder Gods. And they eat pancakes made from human souls.
Grant Morrison once had hair. The tale of how he lost it has been known to drive grown men mad.
Grant Morrison has a miniature white star where his heart should be.
Intelligent beings on the sun are trying to communicate with Grant Morrison by way of solar flares and Morse code.
Scientists are still struggling to understand the effects of drinking Grant Morrison’s sweat and urine.
Against common belief, Grant Morrison doesn’t eat his own young. He smokes their unborn fetuses in a water pipe.
Samples of Grant Morrison’s DNA have been known to spontaneously combust when directly looked at.
Grant Morrison can see in colors that haven’t been invented yet.
Grant Morrison has been through seven different apocalypses. After each one ended, he just ret-conned the planet.
A vampire once drank Grant Morrison’s blood. He immediately transcended space and time.
Grant Morrison’s toilet flushes into the Phantom Zone.
Grant Morrison knows what really killed the dinosaurs. But his only comment on the matter is, “You’ll see.”
-Nate
But during our conversation, we tossed around some ideas about what it must be like to actually be Grant Morrison, and how the world must look from his point of view. The following are just a few of the points that came up (written with all apologies to chucknorrisfacts.com).
Life As Grant Morrison
Grant Morrison regularly travels back through time, and has become his own ancestor on more than one occasion.
In Grant Morrison’s world, Jack Kirby is an ancient God, and he whispers to Grant while he sleeps.
Whenever Grant Morrison needs some quiet time to write, he teleports into the Marvel Comics Universe and the Blue Area of the moon.
When Grant Morrison is agitated, he can lactate super-intelligent sperm from his nipples. And they only speak in binary code.
Grant Morrison has sampled every mind-altering drug known to mind, and many that aren’t.
Grant Morrison exists in at least three more dimensions than anyone else.
Grant Morrison regularly eats breakfast with Cthulhu, Tiamat, Dagon, and the rest of the Elder Gods. And they eat pancakes made from human souls.
Grant Morrison once had hair. The tale of how he lost it has been known to drive grown men mad.
Grant Morrison has a miniature white star where his heart should be.
Intelligent beings on the sun are trying to communicate with Grant Morrison by way of solar flares and Morse code.
Scientists are still struggling to understand the effects of drinking Grant Morrison’s sweat and urine.
Against common belief, Grant Morrison doesn’t eat his own young. He smokes their unborn fetuses in a water pipe.
Samples of Grant Morrison’s DNA have been known to spontaneously combust when directly looked at.
Grant Morrison can see in colors that haven’t been invented yet.
Grant Morrison has been through seven different apocalypses. After each one ended, he just ret-conned the planet.
A vampire once drank Grant Morrison’s blood. He immediately transcended space and time.
Grant Morrison’s toilet flushes into the Phantom Zone.
Grant Morrison knows what really killed the dinosaurs. But his only comment on the matter is, “You’ll see.”
-Nate
Thursday, January 21, 2010
This is why I like Comics
If you listen to the show, or at least some of our choice comments, you'll know that we're fascinated by the organism that is Grant Morrison.
So here's an idea why we're fascinated, courtesy of two of his creations as written by Jason Aaron in November's The List: Wolverine.
These two characters, Fantomex (guy in all white) and Marvel Boy (guy with white hair) are about to enter a bad guy’s lair. The problem is that there are brainwaves or whatever being broadcast that makes people of any faith into mindless drones. So these panels are the two characters’ responses to discovering this fact…enjoy
What's amazing to me is that Morrison didn't even write this, but the artistic absurdity of his characters still shines through. The writer certainly pulled off a WWMD (what would Morrison do).
Hyakkimaru
So here's an idea why we're fascinated, courtesy of two of his creations as written by Jason Aaron in November's The List: Wolverine.
These two characters, Fantomex (guy in all white) and Marvel Boy (guy with white hair) are about to enter a bad guy’s lair. The problem is that there are brainwaves or whatever being broadcast that makes people of any faith into mindless drones. So these panels are the two characters’ responses to discovering this fact…enjoy
What's amazing to me is that Morrison didn't even write this, but the artistic absurdity of his characters still shines through. The writer certainly pulled off a WWMD (what would Morrison do).
Hyakkimaru
What's BEEN goin' on
Let me give a little history on this image. It was done years ago as a favour to Nate, who needed an avatar for something he was doing online.
Actually I could be recalling this whole scenario incorrectly.
Anyways check out Nateborg
Nateborg by ~Hyakkimaru1 on deviantART
Actually I could be recalling this whole scenario incorrectly.
Anyways check out Nateborg
Nateborg by ~Hyakkimaru1 on deviantART
If you ever see these guys anywhere, you might as well invest in some cyanide
Dirt and Kids, two things I don't like.
Saw the Road and loved it, but as far as I’m concerned it had two dirty Aragorn cracks too many.
Actually on second thought, maybe I like the movie more because I saw Mutant Chronicles right before....
Hyakkimaru
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Product Placements in the Book of Eli
Washington’s gotta eat.
By now, most people have either seen the Denzel Washington movie “The Book of Eli,” or they’ve read the online reviews. So instead of debating the pros and cons of the wandering-swordsman, post-apocalyptic-future, protect-the-bible story, lets take a look at the product placements that show up through out the film.
Ipod
Early in the movie, it’s established that Eli carries with him an old, beat-up Ipod that he keeps running with a rechargeable battery. But when Eli stops to get his rechargeable battery recharged, it leads him into conflict with a local warlord (played by Gary Oldman). So remember folks, Ipods are evil. Keep carrying them around, and they’ll result in violence.
Busch Beer
At one point in Eli’s travels, he stops at the edge of an elevated highway. From this angle the audience clearly sees the destroyed landscape, stretching out into the distance. But untouched in all that devastation is the side of a Busch truck. Never mind that everything else is a mess, the Busch name is unmarked and clearly seen. Clearly, this means that we should start buying stocks in that company right now. This is a brand that will survive the coming war.
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Among the many items in Eli’s backpack are several packets of hand-wipes from KFC. They’re considered pretty valuable in this future, and they are important bartering items. Next time you get a hankering for Kentucky Fried Chicken, stow a couple of those packets away. Even after the apocalypse, people still need to clean up chicken grease.
The Da Vinci Code
One of the plot points in The Book of Eli is that Gary Oldman’s character sends out teams of hunters to search for books, in the hope of finding a copy of the Bible. When they bring back Oldman a fresh pile of literature and dump it onto his desk, one of the books is a fresh copy of The Da Vinci Code. Apparently it’s not enough that the novel is already an international bestseller, or that it was made into a movie starring Tom Hanks. The publishers still paid a bundle to get that crappy book plugged in a major theatrical release. At least it didn’t have Tom Hanks on the cover.
Oprah
In that same pile of books is an issue of the Oprah magazine. Which of course proves that Oprah is immortal, she will outlive the rest of humanity, and she’s also responsible for the end of civilization. Don’t try to argue with me, the evidence is right there.
Kmart
When Mila Kunis’s character goes through Eli’s belongings, she reveals a Kmart nametag with Eli’s name on it. That’s right, folks. Eli doesn’t have a background in the military or as a kendo instructor or anything like that. 30 years ago when the bombs dropped, Eli was working at a Kmart. And while he was there, he was apparently trained to use a sword, fire a gun, shoot arrows, and hunt stray cats. Think about that the next time you need to ask a retail associate for help.
Bad Ass Swords
Eli’s sword is bad ass. It was designed to be bad ass. The way he uses it is bad ass. There should be an inscription on the side that reads, “Bad ass motherf*****.” Because if you own a sword like this and you know how to use it, that automatically makes you a bad ass motherf*****. If that doesn’t sell some blades, nothing will.
The Bible
I’m not religious, but I have to admit, this movie makes a good case for reading the Bible. Even if you don’t believe in God, it’ll still give you some cool lines to rattle off before using your bad ass sword to slice through a crowd of people.
The Punisher
The actor Ray Stevenson plays a significant part in The Book of Eli. And as shown in the comic book movie Punisher War Zone, Ray Stevenson portrays a pretty intimidating version of the Punisher. After that, it’s hard not to see his character machine-gunning down criminals whenever he’s on camera. Really, the only thing missing here was a skull on Stevenson’s chest. Marvel Comics should expect to sell a few more issues thanks to this movie.
So that was The Book of Eli. Not only did it feature a pretty solid story and great cinematography, it also carries with it a blatant display of commercialism. Which was likely needed to pay Denzel Washington’s salary.
- Nate
By now, most people have either seen the Denzel Washington movie “The Book of Eli,” or they’ve read the online reviews. So instead of debating the pros and cons of the wandering-swordsman, post-apocalyptic-future, protect-the-bible story, lets take a look at the product placements that show up through out the film.
Ipod
Early in the movie, it’s established that Eli carries with him an old, beat-up Ipod that he keeps running with a rechargeable battery. But when Eli stops to get his rechargeable battery recharged, it leads him into conflict with a local warlord (played by Gary Oldman). So remember folks, Ipods are evil. Keep carrying them around, and they’ll result in violence.
Busch Beer
At one point in Eli’s travels, he stops at the edge of an elevated highway. From this angle the audience clearly sees the destroyed landscape, stretching out into the distance. But untouched in all that devastation is the side of a Busch truck. Never mind that everything else is a mess, the Busch name is unmarked and clearly seen. Clearly, this means that we should start buying stocks in that company right now. This is a brand that will survive the coming war.
Kentucky Fried Chicken
Among the many items in Eli’s backpack are several packets of hand-wipes from KFC. They’re considered pretty valuable in this future, and they are important bartering items. Next time you get a hankering for Kentucky Fried Chicken, stow a couple of those packets away. Even after the apocalypse, people still need to clean up chicken grease.
The Da Vinci Code
One of the plot points in The Book of Eli is that Gary Oldman’s character sends out teams of hunters to search for books, in the hope of finding a copy of the Bible. When they bring back Oldman a fresh pile of literature and dump it onto his desk, one of the books is a fresh copy of The Da Vinci Code. Apparently it’s not enough that the novel is already an international bestseller, or that it was made into a movie starring Tom Hanks. The publishers still paid a bundle to get that crappy book plugged in a major theatrical release. At least it didn’t have Tom Hanks on the cover.
Oprah
In that same pile of books is an issue of the Oprah magazine. Which of course proves that Oprah is immortal, she will outlive the rest of humanity, and she’s also responsible for the end of civilization. Don’t try to argue with me, the evidence is right there.
Kmart
When Mila Kunis’s character goes through Eli’s belongings, she reveals a Kmart nametag with Eli’s name on it. That’s right, folks. Eli doesn’t have a background in the military or as a kendo instructor or anything like that. 30 years ago when the bombs dropped, Eli was working at a Kmart. And while he was there, he was apparently trained to use a sword, fire a gun, shoot arrows, and hunt stray cats. Think about that the next time you need to ask a retail associate for help.
Bad Ass Swords
Eli’s sword is bad ass. It was designed to be bad ass. The way he uses it is bad ass. There should be an inscription on the side that reads, “Bad ass motherf*****.” Because if you own a sword like this and you know how to use it, that automatically makes you a bad ass motherf*****. If that doesn’t sell some blades, nothing will.
The Bible
I’m not religious, but I have to admit, this movie makes a good case for reading the Bible. Even if you don’t believe in God, it’ll still give you some cool lines to rattle off before using your bad ass sword to slice through a crowd of people.
The Punisher
The actor Ray Stevenson plays a significant part in The Book of Eli. And as shown in the comic book movie Punisher War Zone, Ray Stevenson portrays a pretty intimidating version of the Punisher. After that, it’s hard not to see his character machine-gunning down criminals whenever he’s on camera. Really, the only thing missing here was a skull on Stevenson’s chest. Marvel Comics should expect to sell a few more issues thanks to this movie.
So that was The Book of Eli. Not only did it feature a pretty solid story and great cinematography, it also carries with it a blatant display of commercialism. Which was likely needed to pay Denzel Washington’s salary.
- Nate
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
IsThisThingOn #39
Check out the Podcast on itunes, search for IsThisThingOn by Hyakkimaru and please subscribe and review us.
This isn't really an episode, but in an effort to have this seem weekly here's something at least.
You could call me a black Anthony Bourdain.
This week:
The epic journey from Florida to Georgia, and back, how we survived escapes our limited earthly knowledge. Along the way we meet many people from Black Zatoichi and Comic store owners/Editors to White people (whom I love and cherish wholeheartedly).
Episode 39.
This isn't really an episode, but in an effort to have this seem weekly here's something at least.
You could call me a black Anthony Bourdain.
This week:
The epic journey from Florida to Georgia, and back, how we survived escapes our limited earthly knowledge. Along the way we meet many people from Black Zatoichi and Comic store owners/Editors to White people (whom I love and cherish wholeheartedly).
Episode 39.
A project by Nate and Deleon
Actually the second Story titled Dead Aim is a little project we started and finished years ago. Now its here, and we hope all will take part in reading it, or just buying 'just cuz'. Anyways it will be out in comic stores January 20th 2010, and if not the store can order it through Diamond distribution.
Nate's list of Worse Comic Book Movie Adaptations
Swamp Thing 2
I didn’t mind the first Swamp Thing movie too much. But the sequel pretty much mashed the entire concept up with the Power Rangers. Nothing good can ever come from that.
Batman and Robin
Everyone harps on about how the nipples were the worst thing in this Batman suck-fest. But even without them, I’d still give this movie a ton of crap.
All three Punisher movies
Okay, there are some decent moments in these movies. But still, there’s been three movies made about a character who you’d think would be easy to adapt to film. And yet all of them have been disappointing.
The Shadow
A great pulp-fiction character who deserved a hell of a lot better than this 90’s adaptation.
The 1980’s Captain America movie.
I’m not sure off hand how young I was when I first saw it. But even back then I thought it was retarded.
Spawn
A crap movie that was written by a crap writer named Alan McElroy, and based on a crap comic. At least the soundtrack was good.
- FYI, McElroy went on to write the screenplays for Wrong Turn and Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
A great comic by Alan Moore, adapted into a movie so bad it’ll suck the life right out of you.
Judge Dredd
This one did hit some plot points that worked well in the comic. But the presence of Rob Schneider didn’t help things. And damn it, Judge Dredd isn’t supposed to take off his helmet. That’s part of what makes him Judge Dredd.
-Nate
You can see more of Nate's written high-jinks here http://paperlabstudios.com/blog.php?cid=13
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